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10 Minutes – Suicide Note

I remember when I first met you. It was raining outside; ‘the worst downpour of the year’, they had called it, and I had just missed my last bus of the day. I knew I probably shouldn’t have trusted you, but I didn’t have enough money for a taxi and I had no other bus to take me home. You were right there, offering me a lift home with that beautiful, sympathetic smile of yours.

“I’ve been in this position just last month” you told me. “Funny, isn’t it?”

I smiled, and against all better knowledge I came with you. Your wonderful smile had already enchanted me, blown all my reasoning away like it was weightless. Like it was the easiest task in the world.

Did you know, I was never afraid once on that car ride home. Neither of us really knew what to say. It was so awkward, wasn’t it? When I think back on it now I think I already had a feeling then that you were him. ‘The one’.

Mother was so mad at me when I told her what had happened. I should have called her, or father, or any one from my family. Anything would have been fine, as long as I hadn’t gotten into that car with you. She did get to like you, finally, once you’d met, but on that day she had a million reasons why I was the biggest idiot in the world, getting into the car with a stranger.

I remember the month after that. I didn’t miss my bus again, and made sure to always have enough money on me for the bus, in case I needed it. I didn’t, but somewhere deep down I was hoping I’d miss it. Lose my purse. Anything, as long as you would need to come and save me. At the time it wasn’t as obvious to me, but I was waiting to see you again.

And then, finally, we did. I almost didn’t see you until it was too late, but I spotted you amongst the crowd just in time. I ran, sprinting after you, and when I finally reached you I didn’t know what to say. Your face that day, my love, you should have seen it! You looked as dumbstruck as I felt. There you were, the only person I had wanted to see again.

You were kind, as nice as I remembered, and invited me to coffee. Then we made plans for lunch the following week, and I spent the entire five days in eager anticipation. Your features had burned themselves into my memory, and yet they never seemed clear enough until I saw you.

I’m glad we met that day, at the bus stop. Angry as mother was, I’m happy I missed my bus and got into a car with a stranger. I’m glad that strager was you. Thank you for finding me that day, in the pouring rain.

Thank you for the past thirty years. I’ll always love you.

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All of my 10-Minute stories are improvised, unplanned, and unedited apart from spelling and grammar mistakes. The idea is to kick-start the dreaded Monday with a short, creative exercise without thinking about it, and simply writing for the sake of writing.

For all other 10-Minute shorts, take a look here.

Published inMonday InspirationUncategorized

2 Comments

  1. Question- Is the title meant literally? Interesting idea from a fiction perspective; it changes the feel and meaning of the piece completely. But I’ve read a number of real suicide notes and they’re never this gentle and romantic. There’s always some sort of anguish and despair, even when they express love for those left behind. I’m interested in hearing your inspiration and thoughts on this piece.

    • Fortunately I’ve never read any real suicide notes, so my knowledge on the subject already can’t compare to yours. Since I wrote this first thing this morning I didn’t really have an inspiration for it (I don’t with any of the 10 minute writings, that’s the point to them) but it didn’t start out as a suicide note. Writing sad themes is easier for me than happy ones, so I wanted to write something uplifting. This went from being a love note to a partner to a message to a husband on his death bed to wedding vows, and then at the very end as I was writing the last sentences my mind said ‘suicide note’. Since the idea of these 10 minute writings is to write whatever pops into my mind first I went with it πŸ™‚

      (Actually, I just remembered that I did read something like a suicide note many years ago, but I didn’t realise that that’s what it was when I first read it. It was more like a message to me personally and simply said to never lose hope, no matter how cruel life gets. Ironic, really, given the subject)

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